Somewhere in the Middle

The Photograph

Capturing life through photographs is what I love to do. I have a handful of photos that are truly special to me. Out of the thousands of photos I take though why are these photos special? Sometimes it's as simple as a smile or beautiful lighting while other times it's the story behind the photo that makes it priceless to me. These photos are like time capsules documenting my life.

This photo here is particularly special to me. It's the first time it made me think about photography as more than a hobby.

This photo put a little seed in my head that just maybe I could become a professional photographer. Don't we hear it all the time how you should do something you love? Why not me. This is what I love. I have a lot to learn but I'm excited and scared about the possibilities. Since I arrived in Belgium I've been thinking about this a lot. And I think I'm finally ready to take some serious steps forward and see where my love for capturing life will take me. Wish me luck. ;)

Hawaiian Time Machines

Music has a powerful way of transporting me to various moments in my life. Songs from Gladys Knight & the Pips or Barry White immediately bring back memories of Saturday morning with my Mom. While popular songs from bands like the Cure, Depeche Mode, and Duran Duran bring me back to my later years in high school. Yet these are general events from my past not specific moments in time.

But there is. one song. that transports me back to one specific moment. The song is called "Sincerely" by the Moonglows. It's a super old song from the 50's. The first time I heard it was in Hawaii. Ready to get into my time machine...

S had invited me to visit him in Hawaii for his college graduation and being the sweetheart he is he rented a white convertible Mustang to drive around the island. One day late in the afternoon we took a long romantic drive around the island and watched the sunset along the beach. It was beautiful. While driving around the island, passing through little beach towns, endless pineapple fields, and lush mountains "Sincerely" played over & over again.

And about a week later, S asked me to marry him. And can you guess what song we chose for our first dance at our wedding? ;)

Sincerely.
Oh yes.. sincerely
Cause I love you so dearly
Please say you'll be mine

Sincerely.
Oh you know how I love you.
I'll do anything for you.
Please say you'll be mine

Oh lord won't you tell me why
I love that girly so
She doesn't want me though I'll never never never let go
Sincerely

Oh you know how I love you
I'll do anything for you
Please say you'll be mine

If you'd like to get into other time machines click onto this week's Sunday Scribbles.

Finding my Passion

When I started exploring this topic the first thing that came to mind were the people/things I love... Family. Friends. Music. Food. My life would be incredibly empty without my loving family & friends. Music surrounds me every possible moment... I can't imagine my life without it. It stirs up all kinds of emotions. And of course there is food... the kind that makes me close my eyes and wonder how anything could be this delicious.

But upon further reflection, I realized there are so many other emotions associated with passion. Feeling passionate involves excitement, anger, and inspiration. Passion has a way of moving you in powerful ways. So I decided to dig deeper and explore what I felt internally passionate about.

In my search I found this post on passion in which Kamsin says... "it's the thing that brings you great pleasure, the thing that makes you feel alive, that you pursue wholeheartedly and is often the main focus of your life, or certainly your thought life. We long to live our passion and not have to settle for second best."

What in my life could bring about this range of emotions? Photography & Travel. Yes, these are my constant passions.

Photography is definitely my passion. I capture moments in my life through a camera lens all the time. I'm obsessed with my camera. Taking photos brings me a happiness like no other. I love chronicling our lives through photography. I love it when I take a photo that I truly love... one that evokes a range of emotions and inspires me to capture more in life. Yet my passion for photography also brings feelings of disappointment and fear. Disappointment when I don't get the results I desire. And fear when I start thinking about the possibilities of making photography a career. Inevitably doubts crept into my plan and I let obstacles get in the way of doing something I desperately crave. Do I really have what it takes to do this? Could I really make a living taking photos? Would I regret not trying? Pursing my passion is a topic I'm really exploring right now. I just need to find the strength and pursue my passion wholeheartedly.

Traveling also brings me great pleasure. I feel excitement when I think about the travel opportunities I've experienced and the ones that still await me. Life with S enhances this passion. Without him I'm not so sure I would be experiencing life abroad. When we're traveling and we're in the moment I'm overwhelmed with the beauty our world offers. Just the other day I went to buy flowers at the city centre and I stopped for a few minutes. Taking in the beautiful European architecture, the cafes bustling with people enjoying their coffee, vendors selling beautiful flowers, and watching people pass me by I realized I'm living my passion for travel. I stood there for a moment and thought, "Wow. I can't believe this is my life. Thank you God for letting me experience this."

Love Forks

"Hey Mommy, you know what my new tooth looks like?"

"What?"

"It looks like a little fork on top."

"Let me see. You're right... it sure does." :)

Can Night Owls Love to Sleep?

For as long as I can remember I have always been a night owl. I LOVE to stay up late. During my slumber party days I was usually the last one to fall asleep. Late in the night was when things got really interesting... playing tricks on those poor souls that fell asleep early, sneaking out of the house and just being silly. In college, I spent countless sleepless nights studying and writing papers. During the wee hours of the night was when I wrote my best papers. The night seem to bring out those creative juices that made the words flow so easily. Late at night is when I've had the most memorable & intimate conversations with friends & loved ones. Those conversations seem to transform a casual relationship into something much deeper taking it to the next level. The darkness brings an openness that isn't available during the day. We feel free to share our most inner thoughts and dreams. The night helps me feel more creative and relaxed. It brings a solitude I crave.

Now that being said I also love to sleep. I don't need a lot really... but if I have a sleepless night or sleep less than 5 hrs. I can become wicked cranky. It's not pretty.

It wasn't until I had Lil' C that I realized how important sleep is. Sure I had heard how sleep deprivation was a common form of torture. The KGB & Japanese often used this tactic in the POW camps in World War II to obtain important information. But until you've actually experienced sleep deprivation night after night do you truly understand how effective this tactic can be. Let me tell you during those first few months of giving birth I would have given away all my secrets for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep! lol!! I can remember S coming home from work one day, grabbing his shirt, and desperately saying, "I need to SLEEP!!" We laugh about it now but it wasn't that funny during those first few months.

Now that Lil' C sleeps through the night I've gone back to my old ways of being a night owl. But lately, I wake up with bags under my eyes or dark circles. Is it just my imagination? or is it a result of getting older or maybe not sleeping a full 8 hrs? So... I'm now trying my best to go to sleep earlier and get more rest. But I'll tell you it's tough for this night owl who misses those solitary, creative late nights.

A New Look

Look who's tooth fell out today! We've been babying this tooth for about 4 weeks now and it was hanging on by a thread. Lil' C ran to me this afternoon and said, "Mommy, my tooth fell out"! When I asked him how it happened he said, "I just pushed it with my tongue and it fell out". Too cute!

Lately, Lil' C has shown an interest in money and loves to carry coins in his pockets. The shinier the better. So when I told him earlier this week about how the tooth fairy enters your room and in exchange for taking your tooth she leaves money under your pillow he was super excited! In fact, I think he's hoping more of his teeth start to loosen up! lol! Although S & I hope it happens gradually... actually we're hoping he can make it to his next birthday before they really start falling out.

This week we also read Lil' C a wonderful story called "When I was a Tooth Fairy". The book is about a fairy starting her new job as a tooth fairy. When the tooth bell rings she realizes a tooth has fallen out somewhere. The little boy who's tooth has fallen out lives in an apartment in a big city and because the fairy is mathematically challenged she slips into the wrong apartment. Due to her confusion she mistakenly takes a glass filled with an old man's dentures and in exchange leaves him a bag of silver. When the Chief Tooth Fairy finds out she sends out another fairy to visit the little boy and fires the fairy since only the whitest, pearliest baby teeth can be made into fairy pearls. The next morning the little boy and old man are thrilled with the gifts the fairies have left for them. In fact, the old man who never believed in fairies now is a true believer. I just love the ending! I think everyone needs to believe in a little magic.

So tonight S & I slipped into Lil' C's room and took the little tooth that grew in when he was about 6 months old. Under his pillow we left him 1.85 Euro cents. Lil' C is all about the quantity of coins instead of the total value! Before we put them under his pillow we washed the coins since he loves "shiny money". I also sprinkled a little glitter on his window shelf and then lightly touched his cheek so when he wakes up tomorrow morning he'll see where the tooth fairy entered his room and how she gave him a kiss on his cheek before leaving. :)

Paper + Ink

What a coincidence that this week's Sunday Scribbles topic is writing. When I think about this topic all sorts of things pop into my mind. Like how buying beautiful letterpress stationary inspires me to write or how I can never find the right words when I need to send a sympathy card. And who can forget all the sleepless nights I spent writing papers for college & graduate school. Whew! I'm glad those days are over. But what's really on mind is a writing position I recently accepted.

Each month I will be responsible for writing an article and photographing events for an international organization. The position offers no monetary compensation but it sounded fun and I like the idea of being involved. It will also give me a chance to develop relationships with some of the international people in my community. This month I'll be writing my first article and I've got to admit I'm excited but also very nervous. I'm having all kinds of doubts about my writing & photography skills. Hopefully I'll overcome these feelings.

Dream Journey

Ever since I was a teenager, I've dreamed of visiting the Polynesian Islands. It all started when Titi (my aunt) came back from her honeymoon. Every photo was a postcard. Could a place so beautiful and perfect really exist? From that moment on, I knew I'd have to visit this paradise. I can just imagine waking up and walking out my little hut in the middle of the ocean to watch the sun rise or snorkeling in the clear blue water as fish swim around me. And of course taking a small boat out to another island to experience the natural beauty of these islands all over again. Yes... this is a place I will visit one day. Unfortunately, timing isn't right but one day I'll experience it. I know it.

Even though visiting the Polynesian Islands is my ultimate vacation it isn't my dream journey.

My dream journey is to visit countries I will probably never visit due to political or cultural differences. Traveling to some of these countries may be considered dangerous for an American woman.

My dream journey would be to visit Egypt, Morocco, Israel, Cuba and some areas in the Middle East. Of course these countries are not completely unattainable but traveling to these places does carry risk. A risk I'm not willing to take at this point in my life. How amazing would it be to sleep in a tent in the middle of the desert and wake up with the sight of pyramids in the distance or walk the same streets Jesus did.  Yes, this is my dream journey.

Perhaps one day our world will become a safer more peaceful place so that my dream journey can become a reality. But for right now I will continue to hope and dream.

Oh, Yumm...

Yummy is this week's Sunday Scribble prompt and I just couldn't pass up on writing about this delicious little word. I love the word Yummy and not because of how it sounds or how it feels when I say it but because of all that it reminds me of.

You've got to admit it's a cute word full of good stuff. Any time I hear about a delicious recipe my Mom or one of my friends makes the first thing out of my mouth is usually"Oh, Yum!" and "I want that recipe!" lol!

For me Yummy means lot of things... vanilla ice cream melting over hot chocolate chip cookies, frozen drinks (preferably served on a beach in the Caribbean), Vicarros's Colosseos, slice of real NY pizza pipping hot, spicy hot chocolate, molten cake oozing with hot chocolate. Yum!!

Food isn't the only thing that's yummy. I often catch myself using this word to describe bright fun sherbet colors. Love those mango, kiwi, strawberry colors. These colors are so yummy. Love the happy fun vibe they give me. And did you check out that paper in the background? Yummy!

Pass Me the Keys

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ...we are in charge of our attitudes." ~ Charles Swindoll

There are so many beautiful, uplifting and inspiring quotes that it was difficult to chose just one for this week's Sunday Scribbles. Although for me, there is a connection between this quote and the quote inspiring this week's challenge by Diane Ackerman: "I don't want to be a passenger in my own life"

Being a passenger in life is so much easier than being the driver; there aren't as many risks involved. And if something goes wrong, well you can always just blame the driver. Yet as a passenger sometimes your desires & requests are ignored. You may even become a Back Seat Driver... a bit annoying but with good intentions. When you're the driver you have control at least control of your own actions and I like that. Sometimes the roads you navigate will be challenging or so terrifying that you may want to turn around. But you're the driver... it's your decision. You're the one in control.

Deciding to move to Belgium was our choice. Like all of our moves, we chose the location. Some moves were more complicated and presented more challenges like our most recent move to Belgium. But the results of these challenges has a lot to do with attitude. When we lived in Germany several years ago, I encountered many depressed wives who missed their homes so much it completely blinded them to the wonderful opportunities that living overseas can provide.

When we first learned we were moving to Belgium, I was in contact with a few wives who were currently living in the country. It amazed me how their views and experiences varied and I believe it had a lot to do with attitude. Their attitude about the country just poured out in their statements. One of the wives I felt I connected with most said, "If you have a boring day, it will only be because you chose to."

If I have a bad day or miss my family terribly, I remind myself of the wonderful things I love about living in Europe... traditional Christmas markets, the relaxed pace, travel opportunities, 3+ hour dinners, meeting new people and so much more. Most of all I need to remind myself that my situation is temporary and I must make the most out of our time.

This year we won't be celebrating Thanksgiving with our family or friends. In fact, Europeans don't recognize the holiday that has such a special place in my heart. I find holidays difficult but I need to remember that I want to be the driver in my life and this driver has a positive attitude! ;) So maybe we won't be eating turkey this year but a traditional Paella or a traditional 5 course Italian meal sounds just as delicious!